Friday, June 13, 2014

Stupid Teenagers

See there's this girl....
But also this guy...
And oh... another one...
And maybe one other girl?

Anyway, love is stupid

I wish it was black and white
But most things aren't
Everything is pretty gray
Such a pain in the ass...

Anyway, love is confusing

I guess that's why
Why everyone finds it so
Well I guess the word is
I guess I feel infuriated?

Anyway, love is hard

My choice is pretty clear
I'd like to be with her
Freckles and pretty blue eyes
Hands I long to hold

Anyway, love is cruel

But things are never that easy
Maybe she sees it?
The indecision in my eyes
But I've decided time and time again it's her

Anyway, love is pain

I love her more than any of them
But it seems she may not love me
At least not the same way
She's my friend ya know?

Anyway, love is vast

Unconditional love
That's what she gives me
Something so pure so gentle
I'll cherish it forever

Anyway, love is forever

People always tell me
"Love doesn't last"
Well maybe not in the same degree sure
But love does linger

Anyway,

Just don't forget about me ok?
Any of you

Please

I love all of you so much

I guess I'm just an anyway

Saturday, December 28, 2013

What a True Family Means

Family is not the people who have given you life

A father is not defined by the male patron who sired you

A mother is not always the woman who bore you for nine months

Family will and always be at least to me the people who love you
Who raised you with care and gentle hands
Mothers teach and nurture
Fathers laugh and hug, and high five you when you've accomplished a goal
Brothers are those who tease and laugh and play
Sisters are those who you giggle with at the silliest things

A family is not defined by blood
Family are those you choose to be raised by and who will love you unconditionally
Regardless of the mistakes you've made
Or the sorrows you've faced
Family is love

And one may find it not always in the way they've expected or have been taught in school that this is that
Family can be a teacher, a neighbor, a friend,

I have come to find so many sisters
So many brothers to make funny faces at
So many mothers and fathers

There will always be a bond between myself and the woman who gave birth to me.

But she is not my mother

The girl who has the same biological parents as I will never be my sister

Because I have found a true Family and I will always love them, unconditionally just as they have loved me.

Never feel the need to love those who have treated you poorly.

You can find such kinder kin in those around you.

Saturday, December 14, 2013

Dream#347

you’re beautiful
you’re amazing

yet look at me

we contrast so greatly

my eyes so much darker than yours

yet we both bear wounds don’t we?

I suppose you are just stronger than myself.
I would expect so

You take hold
Drawing me to you
I follow
I have nothing much else to do

Where you take me
I do not know
I lost my path long ago
Yet know that not all
who wander are lost

and not all those who have a path
have purpose

Beside a fire
In a room so warm and soft

I feel your presence beside me

promise you’ll come to bed and keep me safe
demons that taunt
me promise you’ll keep me safe

Promise

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Broken

What does it matter?
Another word broken?
You've done it countless times
So why not I?

Why am I cared for so much?
Small little me 
that can bring no good or joy
Take me back to that place
Where it mattered no more

The marks on body
All the wars I lost
That's what they mean
I count them up
And see how pathetic I'm being

Don't say you care,
People change and they lie
Don't you dare
Try to be kind when all I see
Is pity in your eye


Take me back
To where it all went wrong
Let me stop it
Please just one try
And maybe

Just maybe I won't cry

Monday, June 3, 2013

Tongue

I know why I catch on now
Why so quickly I can speak any other tongue
But my own
It's because then I can hide behind my words

If we cannot speak then you won't know
My weakness inside the demons I hold
How I'm falling
I won't have to tell you
And even if I slip you won't understand
And those words will be lost
And though they were said 
I will never feel the guilt for speaking them.

So listen if you want but if you try to catch on
I'll jump again and those words will only fall on def ears.
And never will I let you see the demons that I hide.
Because this is my burden
And I never want you to hold it for me

Monday, May 13, 2013

Just

I'm conflicted
I love you, I always will.
But he needs me too.
We need each other,

Hazel eyes with olive skin
or
Fair with bright blue eyes

He understands though
What it's like to be broken
Maybe not the way I am
But we know how to heal one another
Lick the others wounds

When you saw my wounds 
you glared and disapproved
You never did comfort me
You just shrugged it off like a childish quip
He holds me, and tells me that I mean more to him than that

Yet your eyes still linger
I said it before, didn't I?
That we were friends, and that was it
Then why do I feel like we are still
So much more

I love you both

But one is the future
and one is the past

I no longer feel entitled to call you master
You're just my friend
My handsome funny kinda snobbish friend
I love you
I always will
and though I may sometimes dream of your kisses
or reach for your touch

I know in my heart
That when I'm broken
He is the one that I want.